FBI Director James Comey was leading one of the most important investigations of our time when he was fired Tuesday -- but satanic eroticismdon't worry guys, President Trump has got a plan.
President Trump has great, just terrific candidates lined up to take James Comey's place. The lying news media has been treating Trump very, very unfairly since Tuesday. He knows the best people! The best! Unfortunately, the crooked media doesn't want you to know that.
SEE ALSO: Give Trumpcare a break: Here are all the pre-existing conditions it will coverBelow are all the candidates President Trump would love to see appointed FBI director. He's not going to be easy on them. He's going to be very, very tough.
FBI Director James Comey made this country very weak -- but these great Americans are sure to make America strong again.
Credit: andrew harrer/Getty Images Kushner is already in charge of 400 different political offices, so why not another? He's already shown to be very good at going to Iraq. Is there anything Jared Kushner won't be assigned to do?
Credit: kean collection/Getty Images Frederick Douglass is an example of someone who's done an amazing job. He's overdue for a job at the FBI.
Only one man can cure what ails America...Dr. Harold N. Bornstein.#VoteNo #AHCA pic.twitter.com/LCCNbWNgal
— Larry Smathers (@MrLarrySmathers) May 4, 2017
Dr. Bornstein, otherwise known as the Dude from Big Lebowski, is high on the very short list of educated people still willing to work with President Trump. Let's give him a job!
Credit: chip somodevilla/Getty Images Little Tiffany is one of the few Trumps to not have a job in the administration. President Trump would generously offer this position to Tiffany if he could only remember who she was.
Dory was a goddamn hero in that movie, which Trump watched in the White House after signing the infamous travel ban. Nobody respects women and animated fish more than President Trump.
Credit: keystone/Getty Images J. Edgar Hoover did just a phenomenal job while director of the FBI, until Crooked Clinton or Obama or someone forced him out.
Credit: win mcnamee/Getty Images He's looking, and we're hiring!
Credit: zach gibson/Getty Images President Trump will gladly recommend Ryan for the position if it means he'll shut up about Trumpcare.
It's a Dyson! Credit: SSPL via Getty Images President Trump thinks this vacuum cleaner is uniquely qualified to investigate his campaign's ties to Russia, thank you very much.
He's already been such a great president. Why not add FBI director to his list of responsibilities? Nothing has stopped him before -- and no one, it increasingly seems, is capable of stopping him now.
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