【Kairaku Jigoku no Toriko (2019)】

Watching Apple's presentations sometimes feels like entering an alternate reality or Kairaku Jigoku no Toriko (2019)some sort of magic realism-infused version of our world. On the surface, everything is normal; gravity still works, people wear clothes, computers compute.

Then, you realize the little things that are just...off. A feature that Apple claimed was obsolete just a month ago is making an appearance. Another feature that no one really wanted is suddenly the next big thing.

All the while, an Apple guy on that stage is pretending that's just the way things are; there's no room for hesitation or apologies. Life goes on, and you suddenly need to buy a lot of new accessories.

SEE ALSO: Everything you need to know about Apple's new Macbook Pro

At one point during Apple's MacBook Pro event on Thursday, Apple's Phil Schiller talks about the ports on the new MacBook Pro. A headphone jack -- the same one that was removed from the iPhone 7 in an act of "courage" -- is visible, but Schiller never mentions it.

Another two ports are missing: The magsafe power connector, and the SD card reader. Those aren't mentioned, either, even though they both offer distinct advantages that haven't been replaced with something better or even equivalent.

Schiller proceeds to show how a new MacBook Pro can be connected to the new LG 5K monitor, and it can be charged through that connection, leaving three USB Type-C ports free for other peripherals.

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable It's easier to connect an Android to the new MacBook Pro

But here's the problem: A lot of peripherals out there don't come with the USB-C cable. My external monitor, a 27-inch Dell, connects via HDMI or DisplayPort, but I'd need an adaptor to connect it to the new MacBook. Same goes for the USB hub I own, a couple of smartwatches and an assortment of other gizmos and gadgets I've got lying around.

I can't even connect my iPad mini, or the iPhone, to the new MacBook Pro. In fact, just about the only devices I can connect to the new MacBook Pro are some of the new Android phones (and that's solely because one of them came with USB-C to USB-C cable, not the regular USB-C to USB-A variant).

You heard that right. It's easier to connect an Android phone to the new MacBook Pro than to do the same thing with the iPhone.

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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

Sure, Apple offers a USB-C to Lightning Cable -- at $25 bucks for the 1 meter version, and $35 for the 2 meter version. But things are about to get uglier.

Donglepocalypse begins

When the MacBook first came out, with a single USB-C port, we complained about the ensuing dongle hell. And even though the new MacBook Pros (the ones with the Touch Bar) have four USB-C ports, I think the situation is going to get much worse.

These are machines aimed at pros, and pros use them in a lot of different scenarios. Sure, I could buy LG's 5K monitors and a Promise Pegasus 3 raid array as Schiller imagines in the video. But I already have my own raid setup, my own high-res external monitor. I'm not going to immediately spend $10,000 to replace all that stuff. But you know what I will be buying?

Dongles.

I'll need a few USB-C to USB-A adapters for starters. And a USB-C to Lightning for that iPad. Also, a USB-C to DisplayPort for my monitor. I'll also need a new SD card reader, one that connects via USB-C. And for Ethernet -- remember that one? Apple removed that a while ago even though a ton of professionals still use it. And I'll have to replace my current adaptor, the DisplayPort to Ethernet dongle, with a new one.

And that's just from the top of my head; once I do a revision of all the peripherals I own, I'll probably think of more. At Apple prices, this is hundreds of dollars, but even worse is the mess I'll be making on my desk and in my laptop bag.

Ironically, I won't have to buy a dongle for headphones.

Ironically, the only thing I won't have to buy a dongle for is headphones, as Apple mercifully left a headphone jack.

And this is (probably) only because Apple (purposely) locked the iOS world into Lightning-connected accessories. If Apple had switched to USB-C for the iPhone and iPad -- just like basically every Android maker out there -- everything would make much more sense.

But now, the company has to push two contradictory ideas. On the iPhone, the headphone jack is obsolete and dumb. On the MacBook Pro, it's totally fine. Shhh. Don't mention it.

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

Sure, the headphone jack is a small thing. It doesn't take too much space, so why not leave it on the MacBook Pro? Well, if that was Apple's reasoning, why did the SD card reader have to go? It's roughly as thin than the USB-C port. And it's surely not obsolete -- ask any photographer out there.

The trouble with Apple's strategy is not that things are changing. I'm not going to complain about the function keys being all but removed on the new MacBook Pros, because the function keys truly are obsolete, and have been for many years now. And sure, the USB-C does provide many advantages over the full-sized USB-A port; if nothing else, you now don't have to worry about inserting a connector wrong.

But as forward-looking as removing all the ports and replacing them with USB-C may be, it's torture for today's users. It's Apple's world, we just have to live in it.

And use a lot of dongles.

BONUS: Everything you need to know about the new MacBook Pro

Topics MacBook