【bataille paradox of eroticism】

Yes,bataille paradox of eroticism Bananacoin is a real cryptocurrency. Yes, it's linked to the actual export price of bananas. And yes, people are already making "banana stand" jokes about it.

But bananas are a pretty boring food. As someone who knows little to nothing about cryptocurrency, I think we could be having a lot more fun with the treats to which we are pegging our currency.

SEE ALSO: 50 Cent accidentally became a Bitcoin millionaire

Please do not send me any feedback.

1. Avocadocoin

Credit: LightRocket via Getty Images

The avocadocoin fluctuates based on how the ripe the avocado in your desk drawer is. For the 1-2 hours during which your avocado is perfectly ripe, each avocadocoin will be worth $1 million USD. At all other times, it will be worth $2.50.

Think this sounds unfair? Try waiting for an avocado to get ripe.

2. Tostitos®HintOfLimecoin

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

This altcoin is pegged to how many bags of Tostitos® Hint of Lime tortilla chips (a really nice, tangy chip) are available at your local grocery store.

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Unlike bananacoin, though (which counts on bananas always being in demand), it's not designed to promote certainty among investors. Rather, it's designed to encourage grocery stores to stock more bags of Tostitos Hint of Lime tortilla chips, which are so good and are barely everat the convenience store by my apartment.

Someone please do this for me!

3. LaCroix'n

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

This cryptocurrency becomes stronger every time someone drinks an ice cold can of LaCroix. However, it dips every time some poor soul drinks a warm can ora can of Coconut LaCroix at any temperature.

This one's pretty volatile, too, depending on how much you trust Generation Y. It will crash whenever millennials decide to kill it.

4. Frenchfrycoin

Credit: Mario Tama/Getty Images

This cryptocurrency is completely unpredictable, fluctuating according to the quality of each french fry eaten on Earth. Since french fries are either very good or very bad, but are being eaten almost constantly, you will literally never know how much it is worth. This is the unique fun of Frenchfrycoin!

5. Chocolatecoin

Credit: Ute Grabowsky/Photothek via Getty Images

This is not a cryptocurrency, actually; it is just a coin made out of chocolate. Doesn't that sound amazing? Like, a coin made completely from milk chocolate and wrapped in foil. You could keep one in your purse for months.

Hm... I am receiving word that these already exist. I'd like to announce I will be exiting the world of crypto and investing only in chocolate instead. Thanks!

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