【Secret Sex Society (2018)】

Eugene Grant,Secret Sex Society (2018) a writer and activist for the Restricted Growth Association (RGA), shared a thread on Twitter about the language people use when talking about people with dwarfism.

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It started with Grant explaining why the word "m*dget" is offensive.

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Following on from that, Grant talked more generally about how people with dwarfism are addressed and referred to.

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Mashablereached out to Grant on Twitter about his experience of the thread going viral. He told us that people do ask him about the language face-to-face, but often in an aggressive way.

"Often, the question 'what do we call you' is used as a retort to someone speaking out against a slur, such as the word 'M*dget'. It’s almost a challenge: 'Well, if I can’t call you THAT then what CAN I call you???'" he said.

He thinks that conversations about "dwarf and disabled bodies" rarely include the people who are being spoken about.

"I’ve often encountered the question 'but what do we [average height / able-bodied people] *call* you', but a lot of the time that question isn’t directed at me. It’s *about* me, and people like me, but less often put to us," he said.

"Many people want to be able to label bodies without learning from the people who own and live in those bodies."

"I think many people want to be able to label bodies without learning from the people who own and live in those bodies."

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He also talked about his personal encounters with the word "m*dget".

"Some people seem to think that there is or was some medical meaning behind the m-word. I’ve had plenty of encounters with medical professionals and never, ever heard it used in this context," he said.

"I have only ever been called it as a slur – shouted by strangers in the street or in moving cars, or, as of the last 24 hours, on Twitter."

When Grant's thread went viral he received many positive responses, but he also was the target for a lot of abuse.

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Before the thread went viral Grant had about 200 followers. "Then I wake up and my tweet has gone viral overnight and I’ve over 2,500 followers and the trolls/bots/abusive people are out in full force."

Grant said he said that he initially challenged the abuse when the first few tweets came in, but now there are too many. But in person he challenges it often.

"In person, I do. A lot of the time. But this is difficult and I’d like to speak about this. One of the things we need to be very careful about is expecting dwarf and disabled people to have 'the perfect response' – i.e., to maintain perfect composure in the face of abuse, to educate the abuser, to give a clear message, to leave all witnesses with a good impression, and to walk away into the sunset.

"The perfect response is a mirage. I never get there. It doesn’t exist," he said.

"We are not your learning experience nor should we be."

"Receiving abuse can be very traumatic and to expect the recipient to have the perfect reply and to educate abusers puts enormous pressure on them. We are not your learning experience nor should we be.

"So yes, I often respond. Sometimes I have razor sharp wit, sometimes I can educate, sometimes I am composed, sometimes I shout, sometimes I’m left feeling despair, sometimes I’m bullet-proof, sometimes I crumble. I’m human, I am flawed, and that’s OK."

"Finally," Grant said, "Sometimes it’s not safe to challenge it and to do so puts you at greater risk. Sometimes the protection of your body trumps educating other people."

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